Why your friends are not as far ahead in their careers as their LinkedIn updates suggest

Watching her peers buy million-dollar private properties, travel on business class and spend without a second thought has made Ms Shania Tsing, 27, question whether she's made the wrong moves since joining the workforce. 

Ms Tsing, a senior account executive in events management, has found herself grappling with these thoughts more recently as her peers have been hitting certain life milestones like getting married and buying a home.

She's found herself feeling a little envious when seeing social media updates or hearing friends and relatives talk about lavish weddings and condo housewarmings.

Part of this insecurity she feels comes from a career change she made in 2025, which resulted in a pay reduction. After realising she was unhappy "chasing money" as a sales engineer, she decided to pursue a career in event planning.

While she's happy with her current job, comments from friends and relatives about where she should supposedly be in her career at this age intensify the pressure she sometimes already places on herself.

"It does affect me sometimes, when they question why I'm still in a certain role after 'working for so long'," she said. 

"I feel there's an unspoken timeline of where one should be in their career by a certain age."

HARD TO ESCAPE

Counsellors and human resource experts told CNA TODAY that making comparisons with others is common and usually covers all aspects of life including one's family life, financial status or career. 

They added that such comparisons have little to do with being jealous and wanting what others have but deal instead with a deeper anxiety about whether one is moving at the correct pace in life. 

Experts said people often compare themselves most closely with peers of a similar age or background, as these individuals can feel like the easiest reference points for measuring progress in life.

And over time, these people may end up relying more heavily on external markers to determine whether they are on track, rather than forming their own sense of progress.

Ms Stella Ong, a clinical counsellor at LightingWay Counselling and Therapy, said this tendency to compare stems from a need for certainty that one is "doing okay".

She said that this sense of "same-stage pressure" has become more pronounced today, particularly with social media platforms such as LinkedIn making other people's achievements highly visible in real-time.

In Singapore, the repeated exposure to visible markers of success such as promotions, property purchases or luxury lifestyles can gradually shift people's perception of what is considered normal, Ms Ong added.

Ms Angie Lim, a 34-year-old content creator, said the rise of real-time career updates online has made career comparison feel far more difficult to escape than it once was.

While LinkedIn previously felt more like a platform for professional networking and job opportunities, she said it now sometimes resembles a "semi-Facebook feed" centred around job updates and career milestones.

"Promotions, new roles and job changes appear so frequently that it can feel like you're constantly being reminded of where everyone else is in life," she said.

But comparison itself is not always unhealthy, Ms Ong said, and can sometimes be constructive when it comes from curiosity or motivation.

For example, individuals may view another person's achievements as a source of inspiration rather than generating feelings of inadequacy, she added.

The problem arises when comparison stops being occasional and becomes emotionally consuming. This may manifest as rumination, avoidance or behaviours that disrupt daily functioning, such as compulsively checking LinkedIn and social media instead of focusing on one’s own goals.

MOST TITLES, ACHIEVEMENTS ARE INFLATED

On any given morning, you may have scrolled through your LinkedIn feed to see a friend update their job title to "vice-president" of her company, while seeing other friends congratulate someone on winning an award for most enterprising employee.

The reality, said experts, is that many professional milestones posted online often lack important context, or are in fact made to sound better than they actually are. 

Ms Connie Low, principal coach at Tyson Jay, a firm specialising in recruitment, career and leadership coaching, said LinkedIn announcements, much like other forms of social media, are often curated to reflect how individuals want to be perceived.

She added that job titles can vary largely across companies and industries, making direct comparisons difficult.

Global talent consultancy firm Robert Walters also argued that more employers are inflating job titles – in 2023, Singapore saw a 24 per cent increase in 2023 in positions carrying titles such as "manager" and "director" for jobs intended for professionals with just two years of experience.

The firm defined "job title inflation" as companies offering exaggerated titles that may not accurately reflect the responsibilities, seniority or salary of a role.

Ms Low added that "micro-promotions" and intermediate titles introduced by some companies may also make career progression online appear faster or more significant than it actually is.

Promotion timelines today are also far less predictable than many people assume, Ms Low said. 

Drawing from her experience in human resources and career coaching, alongside benchmarking data from organisations such as human resource services provider ADP, she estimated that only about 10 per cent of employees across industries are promoted in any given year.

This means most professionals are not progressing according to the timelines they may expect for themselves, she said.

While career progression was once more closely tied to tenure, today's workplaces are increasingly shaped by changing business needs and flatter organisational structures, meaning factors such as visibility, company size and industry can all influence progression.

FINDING YOUR OWN MEASURE OF SUCCESS

Given how unavoidable career comparison has become today, experts said the goal is not to eliminate it entirely, but to approach it in a healthier way.

Ms Ong said one helpful way to reframe comparison is by shifting away from external benchmarks and asking different questions altogether.

Instead of focusing on whether they are "behind", individuals could ask whether they are making progress on what genuinely matters to them and if their path aligns with their own values and interests.

"This shift from external benchmarks to internal values helps us reconnect with our own path, instead of borrowed pictures of success," she said.

Individuals should also seek more grounded and objective perspectives on their career progression instead of relying solely on peer comparison.

Professionals can start by speaking with managers, mentors, trusted peers or senior stakeholders at work to better understand their strengths, gaps and what it takes to progress to the next level.

For a clearer market perspective, Ms Low suggested reaching out to recruiters or human resource professionals to understand what roles, seniority levels and compensation ranges the market would typically consider for someone with their skills and experience.

Lastly, keeping track of one's own achievements may also help counter the tendency to fixate on other people's progress.

Ms Low said maintaining a record of accomplishments is a habit every professional should build, not just for visibility at work, but also to ground individuals in their own growth over time.

"As for comparison hyper-fixation, keeping a record of your own achievements shifts the focus from what others have that you don't, to how far you yourself have come," she said.

For some like Ms Tsing, learning to define progress beyond what is publicly visible, and finding fulfilment in meaningful work rather than external milestones alone, have helped quiet some of the comparisons she still finds herself making from time to time.

"I've come to realise it's really important to be happy at work. My company culture is good, my colleagues are great, and being able to do what I like helps me appreciate what I have," she said.